Babe Bracket 09 Sweet 16

Sorry for the slight delay.. work has been vicious, and so has the swine flu, but we've come so far... the women wouldn't like it if we ended prematurely... at least that's what women keep telling me. I'm sending this out late so everyone can start their day out right.

The second half of round 2 went as follows... voting was tighter than most of these girls have been in a long while...

The Foxy one barely edges out the latina baby mamma... Megan by 1

The sultry Biel takes out the girl next door Brewster, Jessica by 6

The pouty lips of Scarlett out pouts Bilson, but just barely. ScarJo by 1

Marissa was able to climb the mountains of a challenge that is Keeley. Miller time by 3

Miranda Kerr takes down baby Krupa. Kerr by 5

Elder Krupa keeps the family name alive, taking down Lima. Joanna by 3

Petra sends Bar running back to Leo. Nemcova by 5

The Sweet 16 has never looked sweeter than this. Here are the top 8 Babes from each category. We must say that we are quite pleased with the voting and feel that we are working our way to quite a Final Four Matchup. So let’s get those votes in and see who moves on to the Babe 8. Votes need to be in by next thursday btw.

TV Region

4. Emmanuelle Chirqui vs 8.Sophia Bush

Emmanuelle has deposed of her competition and now it’s time for a little Bush. And we ‘aint talking about W.... or even Jenna for that matter. This should be an interesting matchup with the exotic looks of Chirqui and the smokey voiced babe, Sophia Bush. Both ladies have had little trouble advancing through the bracket, but now they have to face each other to see who takes on the winner of Hough/Glau. In our opinion both these ladies are winners since they both star in shows with major douche bags. (see Kevin Connolly and Chad Michael Murray)

2. Julianne Hough vs 11. Summer Glau

Julianne is making a strong case that she should have been the #1 seed for TV Babes. She has been the most convincing winner throughout this bracket, but an upset may be lurking around the corner. Summer Glau isn’t scared to take on the Dancing Queen and even though we’ve seen the last of the summer months, she swears we haven’t seen the last of Summer. (Damn, we are some creative writers aren’t we!?)

Sports Region

1. Anna Kournikova vs 5. Allison Stokke

Too be perfectly honest we weren’t surprised that Anna has made it this far. We even discussed just giving her a bye straight to this round because we really didn’t think it would be close. It wasn’t. Of course the further you get in the bracket, the tougher the competition. Enter Track Girl, Allison Stokke. We’re thinking that she’s got an idea where to stick that pole and it’s headed straight for Anna’s culo. Of course the line is long to stick something up Anna’s culo. So here’s to Anna’s culo and Track Girl being the hot teenager that she is. Game on!

6. Bia and Branca Fares vs 7. Maria Sharapova

Well, well. It appears our voters love them some twins. Wow that’s a shock! Of course the twins are up against another set of twins, the long legs of Maria Sharapova. So it’s up to our voters to use their imagination a bit. What would you rather have, two smoking, blonde twins hanging on your shoulders or 2 long, tanned legs draped over your shoulders? Decisions, decisions. Tell you what, go drink a beer, watch a bit of porn and come back to us. These types of decisions need to be taken very seriously.

Movie Region

1. Megan fox vs 4. Jessica Biel

Lately Megan has been getting some bad publicity that she’s not a good actress. That’s she’s an ungrateful biatch. That she’s still dating Brian Austin Green. Well, we are here to say that all that doesn’t matter cause she still looks good. And isn’t a person judged solely on their looks anyway? Well, here they sure as hell are. Speaking of looks, apparently you guys are really taking those pictures seriously. Even though Jordana Brewster has got it going, she was no match for the sultry pictures of the lovely Jessica Biel. Anytime a chick takes a picture topless with only a couple of fingers hiding the nippage, that sends shockwaves through our loins. It must be the old “it’s what you don’t see” that really gets us going. Well Biel get’s us going and it’s up to you to get her going past the lovely, “talented” Ms. Fox.

2. Scarlett Jo vs 3. Kate Beckinsale

Even though we got some flack for our candidates, we feel that anytime you have the 1-4 seeds making it this far, you’ve done something right. So here we go. Scarlett vs Kate. We were sad to see Bilson go, but what Scarlett wants, Scarlett gets. Now Scarlett wants Becks (not stupid David Beckham, the real Becks). Kate Beckinsale does it all with class and she’s got a nice @ss to go with that class. (now that’s just good writing folks!) These two may be the best actresses of the entire bunch, but we figure it’s not their acting that will advance them.

Model Region

1. Marissa Miller vs 5. Miranda Kerr

Oh boy! Oh boy! Marissa vs Miranda. We’ve got to be honest, we were really hoping this one would happen and here it is. We are very excited!!! Marissa has got the curves of a Greek statue. Miranda may not be as curvy, but she’s got a body and the cute little face that can do some major damage to the California Girl. This is going to be a good old fashioned Catwalk Catfight! Ladies, extend your claws!

7. Joanna Krupa vs 11. Petra Nemcova

Joanna squeezed past Lima by a few votes and now has her eyes set on Tsunami and Babe Bracket survivor Nemcova. You’ve got to be a hot supermodel to be an 11 seed and move all the way up to the Sweet 16. Maybe we seeded that wrong? Maybe our seeds suck? Hmmmmm….all this talk of seed and models. Somebody turn on the air please. Krupa is a little ticked her sister didn’t make the cut so she may be looking for vengeance to try and face Kerr in the Elite 8. Nemcova extinguished Bar quicker than Hitler extinguished 6 million of Bar’s Jew friends back in the early 40’s. Will Nemcova do the same to Krupa or will Krupa go all Polish on her and ram a sausage up her butt. Oops, gotta go. Lunchtime. Cheers.

Movies and Model Regions Round 2

Were back and we've brought some tasty M&Ms... Movie and Model babes... but first, the results from the first half of round 2. The voting was extremely close....

TV

It turns out People are Wild about Bush. The eight seed upsets the number one seed and offers her a sammich and a lesbian kiss for a consolation. prize. Sophia by 3.

The Hough-ster takes down the youngster, so we will have to say good bye to Minka's Pom Poms. That makes my penis sad. Julianna by 6.

In another shocking upset, the Greek Goddess gets terminated. in proper nerd fashion... Glau FTW. Summer by 1.

Hayden may be invincible on Heroes, but Emmanuelle's entourage pulled through. In a nailbiter... Chirqui by 1.

Sports

The blonde former tennis player turned model beats the brunette former tennis player turned model. Anna by 9

In the battle of "I wish I could be part of this threesome" the twins manage to squeeze out a victory. Bia and Branca by 1

I'm pretty sure that if you guys saw the Erin Andrews video, you'd vote the other way...Another upset as the pole handler beats out the peephole dancer. Allison by 1.

the Russian tennis girl next door gets the nod over the Russian skating sexpot. Sharapova by 5

Alright, back to the business at hand. Get your votes in by next wed. That should be enough time for all of you to get your college fb picks in AND setup your fantasy teams, and do round 2... and in E's case get married, but you must have your priorities.

So we are going to start this one out with a little apology. We thought we would pull a Maxim and sort of introduce a few of the newer girls that have maybe flown under the radar a bit. Obviously our movie bracket, since it was first, took a bit of flack for leaving out some very talented young ladies that might have made better competition. However, we felt we learned from our mistakes and finished very strong with the model bracket since we didn’t hear as much whining and complaining. Of course it’s difficult to whine and complain about hot models no matter who they are or what they are wearing. So here we go. We made it through Round 2 of the Sports and TV brackets and now it’s Round 2 for Movies and Models. So without further adieu…….

1. Megan Fox vs 8. Jessica Alba

Fox rolled through her first round opponent like John Mayer rolls the showers of the Harlem Boys’ Choir. Fast and hard. It wasn’t even close, so let’s hope her Round 2 opponent, The Alba, can put up some better competition. Jessica fared well against Eva Mendes in the Battle of the Barrio and now has her eyes set on a little Fox hunting. Hopefully they will decide fighting is not the answer and kiss and make up……while naked……covered in baby oil…….next to a waterfall……with a midget fanning them with a giant feather.

2. Scarlett Johansson vs 10. Rachel Bilson

Scarlett got some major comp from the new girl Lucas, but we figured her very valuable and voluptuous assets pushed her over the edge. She’s taking on the girl from Jumper in Rachel Bilson who walloped a “why is she in here” Emmy Rossum. The creators of the bracket have very much love for Bilson, so there was probably a subconscious matchup that heavily favored hottie Bilson. However, she’s got her hands full, literally, with ScarJo so here’s to a great matchup. But first let’s see a hug ladies!!

3. Kate Beckinsale vs 11. Amanda Bynes

Kate proves her top seeding worth and demolishes Jordan Ladd by 22 votes. Either everyone loves Kate (absolute possibility) or Jordan Ladd was way overrated in our book. Oh well, Kate moves on and takes on the upset minded Amanda Bynes. Bynes actually told us that Kate was one of the worst actresses she’d ever seen (ie Pearl Harbor). Kate fired back (with a very sexy British accent) that Amanda better be ready eat her spotted dick*. We say bring it on ladies and settle this little cat fight in the bracket.

*reference note: Spotted Dick is some sort of British dessert that is a type of pudding and not the infection that Bob had last spring that required a week stay in the hospital.

4. Jessica Biel vs 5. Jordana Brewster

This is a tough 4 vs 5 matchup. Both sexy ladies defeated their opponents by double digit votes and now they have their eyes set on each other. (insert porn music here) Biel or Brewster? Brewster or Biel? This is so tough we think we are going to have to stare at sexy pictures of them until we become so mind f*cked that our zombie selves actually make this call. Brains….hungry for brains!!!!!

Models Bracket

1. Marissa Miller vs 8. Keeley Hazell

We aint gonna lie. This matchup makes us super horny! Our California girl vs the nicest sets of boobs in merry old Angland. Why oh why does this have to be fought out on paper!!?? Keeley struggled a bit in her matchup against Brooklyn Decker-Roddick (sounds like a turnpike doesn’t it?) and Marissa isn’t playing around. She took out her competition by 12 votes and has her eyes set on Keeley to move on to the next round. Is it Miller Time or do big boobs and a sexy Brit accent win out?

2. Adriana Lima vs 7. Joanna Krupa

No surprises here. We figured these two would meet up and allow us to showcase more sexy photos of themselves. Lima was all over her competition from the start and Joanna proves that Polish people may not be smart, but they can be very sexy. Both ladies seemed very comfortable in their Round 1 matches, but don’t be fooled to think Round 2 won’t get sexier and dirtier. Lima vs Krupa could prove to be one for the ages like Ali vs Frazier, Yanks vs Bosox or Sam vs Diane.

3. Bar Refaeli vs 11. Petra Nemcova

The Israeli Rafaeli had a bigger scare in Round 1 then a Jewish banker misplacing his precious Jew gold. Escaping by 1 point, Bar moves on to face our tsunami survivor Nemcova who survived a very similar onslaught from Karolina Kurkova. Kurkova started off strong but proved no match for the Czech beauty who advances by a margin of 8 votes. Upset indeed. We were told that Nemcova has some German ancestry, so this one could be a gas!

5. Miranda Kerr vs 13. Marta Krupa

We knew it wasn’t fair. A relatively unknown Kelly Brooke vs Miranda Kerr in a babe bracket. That’s like putting McLovin in the ring with Brock Lesnar. Oh well, Miranda lived up to the hype and acquired the greatest margin of victory by 14 votes over the busty Brit. However, Miranda better keep her cute dimples fixated on the upset queen, Marta Krupa. Feeling a bit overshadowed by her sister Joanna’s success, Marta reels off a surprising win over the lovely Alessandra Ambrosio. Now she’s got her upset minded claws fixated on Miranda Kerr and a shot at the Miller/Hazell winner. Is it possible we could have an Elite Eight with two sisters battling for a Final Four berth!? Kerr, we’re sure, has something very cute to say about that.